A few months ago, I was talking to one of my relatives about our experience in Canada. And then, our topics switched to the birthday celebrations for one of my children. She asked me if I opted for catering, as there were several guests, however, I told her that I love to cook, especially for an occasion. Then, she asked me how did I learn to cook so well, while my brother does not know any cooking, despite growing up in the same household. A lot of thoughts crossed my mind and I could have answered the question in many ways.
I replied to her, “We all have different skills and talents. Cooking is not his forte and he’s the least educated in our generation but I have not seen anybody in our entire family who has become so successful at work. On the other hand, I took a keen interest in cooking because I was independent and wanted to live my life differently.” Then, we spoke for a while and we ended the call amicably.
On my way back home, I was talking to my spouse about my conversation with my relative. She and I both shared our experiences on how close and distant families/friends compare between siblings or cousins and sow the first seeds of discrimination. My spouse even till date remembers how she was compared to her eldest sister. These are scars that remain nested in the heart and brain, especially when children are little and have a lasting impact for the rest of their lives.
As humans we transition from a phase of comparison to discrimination without actually accepting the person for who they are. Unconsciously, we teach children to take this concept to schools and university and then to workplaces, which then becomes a way of life.
Rather, we should infuse positive values in our children by recognizing their core competencies and encourage them to enhance those competencies by providing them with tools to succeed in life. Introspectively, if each child is treated fairly and equally, both in words and actions, we would see healthier, inclusive and more productive environments.
Please share with your families and friends