A couple of months ago, I was attending a party with a group of family friends and one of the mothers who had teenage children was busy discussing how she ends up doing all the household chores by herself.
Soon thereafter, all the women around started throwing suggestions and she quietly listened to all of them. After some time, she looked at me and said, “How come you are so quiet?”
I looked at her and smiled and she motioned for me to talk.
I told her, “We live in the Google and WhatsApp Age and everybody knows everything. So I have nothing to say to you.”
She replied, “Yeah, you have to say something now.”
I explained, “You created this, and so, you should find your own solution.”
She said, “No, I’m sure you have some ideas.”
I asked her, “Do you believe that you have a problem?”
“Of course.”
“Well, then, you have two options, either stay quiet and don’t rock the boat, as this would be your preference, right?”
She nodded affirmatively.
“The other option is to have an open dialogue with all members of the family. The home belongs to all and every member makes a contribution. It’s not only the mother who is responsible to take care of the home. This is a difficult conversation and may end up terribly, if every individual does not own up. However, it’s never too late to discuss and stop being worried about what others would think about you.
“When you cook food, do others have an expectation that the food will be edible and delicious?”
She replied, “Yes.”
“Imagine the chaos, if the food was too spicy or lacked the right ingredients. So, if others have an expectation from you, how is it not fair that you expect them to do their part of the job? After all, we live in a home and not in a hotel. Life is a two way street and not a one-way highway where one can be muscled all the time. Everyone deserves a better quality of life and that means all make a small effort and give up some of their personal time, isn’t it?”
She nodded and said, “I wish I mustered the courage to do this earlier.”
I replied, “Better late than never, otherwise, not having a conversation about this will only invite physical and mental trauma for you later.”
CA/GL-02/11/18
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Lobo Universe 